Too often, society puts a negative spin on love. When one loves someone that cheats on them, or somehow does wrong, we shun that individual for still caring for the person in question. We often do not stop to consider that love is our natural state of being, no matter how we try to rebel against it.
Let’s examine the line of thinking we try to enforce upon being wronged, if love depends on feeling like someone is being, or acting perfectly, (according to our standards), are we still talking about love, or are we talking about being happy because we feel like we are getting our way?
It is human nature to be selfish, however, it is mature to recognize these flaws and change our behavior appropriately. When you truly love a person you will love them no matter what they do. Now, please don’t mistake this for saying that we should put up with any, and every type of negative behavior they can throw at us, while we plaster on our best fake smile.
Does the mother of a murderer suddenly become unmotherly? Or does she hope there can be redemption for her child? Yes, she will scold her child, and there may be a period of time in which she cannot bear being around her child. But if she feels that it is possible for her child to change at all, she will still hold on to hope for that child. Even if her child is the face of evil, she will still leave a message of redemption with the hope someday her child will become a better person. We love the person, but we don’t love their actions when they do something that is off-putting to us.
Loving someone has nothing to do with not liking their actions, we live with this reality consistently. This is how, and why we are able to forgive, however, when we discuss forgiveness, often we wrap forgiving actions in foolish wrapping paper and tie the bow with naive sensibilities. No matter what your opinion is, if you can love someone who does something wrong, how much more can you love someone that is not perfect, but is CONSIDERATE of your feelings and well-being. Someone that will admit and make amends for their mistakes willingly, without you needing to lay on guilt trips.
You must question, what, exactly are you fighting for? The right to the last word, or, the road to a lasting relationship. Recovery after a betrayal may be difficult, take the time you need to heal, but don’t cut yourself off from the possibility of having great relationships with others.
At the end of the day, love is pure, we corrupt love with our own selfish motives and hopeless thoughts. What would happen if after a bad relationship we returned to pursuing other relationships with even more hope, happiness, and goodwill, assurance that we will find the perfect person who will love us for who we are?
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